She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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