moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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