I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
