Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
