suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
