Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
