I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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