4 words: hood of his car
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
