I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
