i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize