I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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