you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize