They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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