So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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