Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
