I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
