So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
