As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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