Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
