i came on her dog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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