Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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