; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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