THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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