She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
