I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I understand Curling. That high.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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