she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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