I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I need moral support for this bender
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
