Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
