white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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