im holly from the hills drunk
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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