Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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