My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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