The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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