So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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