shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize