Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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