It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
