i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
