...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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