Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize