cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
