Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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