I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
