He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
