he puts the penis in happiness.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
