well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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