she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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