i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
