i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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