I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
