She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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