Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
