VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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