I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
