its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I believe in your delicious
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
