East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
