You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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