I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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