do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
