Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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